Skip to main content

🧠 When Love Becomes Control: From Selfishness to Narcissism in Society and Families

In everyday life, we often encounter people whose actions—though seemingly normal or even “caring”—feel disturbing, overbearing, and emotionally draining. They may be laughing, crying, or claiming to act for our welfare, yet somehow, their behavior leaves us exhausted, manipulated, and unheard.

These people may not carry the clinical label of “narcissist,” but at the core of their actions lies one disturbing truth:

It’s always about them.


🔹 The Selfish Personality: No Room for You

A selfish person does not recognize boundaries. Their emotional world is centered on fulfilling their own needs, even if that means stepping over your mental space, decisions, or freedom.

If they laugh, it’s to feel superior.

If they cry, it’s to gain sympathy or regain control.

If they help, it’s so they can later claim a favor or appear morally high.

Even their so-called goodness is transactional—done not out of compassion, but to gain praise, power, or satisfaction.

 “Everything they do—whether it seems good or bad—is rooted in self-interest.”


This behavior, over time, becomes deeply damaging to those around them. And if this continues unchecked, selfishness gradually transforms into something far more dangerous: narcissism.


🔺 The Rise of Narcissistic Traits

Narcissism isn’t always loud and flashy. It can be soft-spoken, quiet, and culturally accepted. But at its core, narcissism is about:

•Control

•Manipulation

•Lack of empathy

•An inflated sense of self-worth

A narcissistic person uses others as extensions of their ego. Relationships are not mutual—they are tools. And boundaries? Non-existent.

All narcissists are selfish, but not all selfish people are narcissists.

However, a selfish person—when reinforced by unchecked power, validation, or ignorance—can evolve into a narcissist.


🏠 The Narcissistic Family: Where Control Is Called Love

Nowhere is this more evident than in Indian families (though not limited to them). Generational patterns of control, guilt, and domination have been normalized under the name of love, duty, or culture.

Let’s look at examples that reflect this:


⚫ 1. Female Feticide: The Erasure of Identity

Killing a female fetus is not just a crime—it’s the deepest form of narcissistic control.

The unborn child is denied life because she does not fit the family’s expectations.

The girl is never seen as a soul or individual—but as a burden to the parent’s ego or financial plans.

This is not just cultural violence. It is the narcissist’s fantasy of total control—deciding who has the right to live.

⚫ 2. Academic Pressure: Marks Over Mental Health

When children are constantly pushed to get more marks, choose certain subjects, or follow a fixed path, it is often:

Not about their growth, but about the parent’s status.

Not for learning, but for showing off.

Not for the child’s future, but for family image and pride.

The child becomes a project, not a person.

This is narcissism in the name of ambition.

⚫ 3. Arranged or Forced Marriages: The Death of Choice

While arranged marriages can be based on consent and compatibility, many are enforced, rushed, or emotionally blackmailed.

A girl or boy’s wishes are dismissed.

“We know what’s best for you” becomes a shield for parental domination.

Individual emotional readiness is not even considered.

Their life becomes an extension of someone else’s ego and fear of social judgment.

⚫ 4. Everyday Impositions: Emotional Suffocation

Even in small, daily decisions—what to wear, what to study, when to sleep, whom to talk to—when one’s personal freedom is repeatedly ignored, it creates emotional trauma.

Children and even grown adults are expected to:

•Obey without questioning,

•Sacrifice their identity,

•Suppress emotions for “family harmony”.

This is not love. It’s emotional narcissism in a cultural mask.


đź’Ą The Psychological Damage

When someone lives under constant narcissistic control, they often experience:

•Low self-esteem

•Anxiety, depression, and confusion

•Guilt for wanting freedom

•Inability to make decisions independently

They may not even realize what they’re suffering from—because it’s all been normalized.


🌱 Awareness Is the First Step Toward Healing

It is time we stop justifying selfish and narcissistic behavior in the name of:

•Culture,

•Tradition,

•Respect,

•Family love.


True love respects boundaries.

True care values individuality.

True parenting or authority nurtures, not controls.


Whether it is in the home, school, or society—when selfishness goes unchecked and becomes a personality style, it can evolve into narcissism, leaving behind a trail of broken spirits and silenced voices.


đź•Ż️ Final Message

If someone:

•Consistently crosses your boundaries,

•Disregards your emotions,

•Controls your decisions under the label of love...

…they may not be simply caring or protective—they may be narcissistic in their mindset.


🌿 Protect your mind. Speak your truth. And always choose your emotional freedom over emotional slavery.


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment


"By commenting, you agree that your name and comment will be publicly visible. Please do not share personal details. Comments may be moderated before appearing."

Popular posts from this blog

When Evil Wears the Mask of Goodness: A Psychological Trap

🌑 The Origin of Evil’s Deception In the beginning, evil was rejected. It was ugly, selfish, and raw—too obvious to deceive anyone. It had no fans, no charm, and no admiration. But evil is not foolish—it is observant. It began watching the divine : •How it speaks. •How it behaves. •How it gives, forgives, and glows with authenticity. Evil was mesmerized by how the divine attracted people—not through force, but through love and righteousness. So evil decided to imitate . But it didn’t change its inner nature . It only wore the outer garments of goodness. Thus began the most dangerous illusion in human society: The imitation of goodness without the transformation of conscience. This is what we now call: Image Building . 🌍 Where This Illusion Exists Today We see it everywhere: •In homes , where toxic relatives pretend to be loving while manipulating. •In workplaces , where people act supportive but secretly sabotage others. •In politics , where leaders speak of justice but crave control...
Post a Comment
Read more

Where Are the Roots of Corruption—and How Is It Similar to Addiction?

Let’s Explore the Truth When we talk about corruption in politics, education, or government offices, we often treat it as a problem at the top. But the real roots of corruption lie elsewhere—deep in our classrooms . Corruption doesn’t begin in a minister’s cabin or a government department. It begins in the exam hall—with a whisper, a hidden chit, or a stolen glance at a friend’s answer sheet. We casually call it “helping a friend.” HOW THE SEED IS SOWN It all starts with a distorted idea of smartness and kindness : •A student cheats and calls it clever. •A friend helps someone cheat and calls it loyalty. •A teacher looks away, thinking it's harmless. But this is the beginning of moral compromise. Children begin to internalize dangerous messages: •“Success matters more than honesty.” •“If everyone does it, it must be okay.” And slowly, the brain rewires. What once felt wrong now feels routine—and even justified. This is how the foundation of corruption is quietly laid, long before a...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Illusion of Conspiracy: A Journey from plotting to Collapse

In today’s world, conspiracies are no longer rare. From boardrooms to family feuds, from politics to friendships, the art of secret plotting is often glorified as Cunningness. But what lies beneath this cunning mask is a path of inner destruction. This blog explores the nature of conspiracy, the mind of a conspirers, and the silent collapse of their Core, despite outward success. 🔍 What Is a Conspiracy, Really? A conspiracy is not just a secret plot — it’s a betrayal of truth. It involves: •Secrecy: Hiding intentions.  •Collusion: Plotting with others.  •Manipulation: Twisting perceptions.  •Self-interest: Gaining control at any cost.  But what is the cost? The cost is your peace, your character, and your Core. 🧠 Why Do People Conspire? The Psychology Behind It Every conspiracy is born from a mental weakness. These are the real causes: 1. Desire for Control They want power, but  not through honesty — they seek shortcuts. 2. Fear and Insecurity They fear losing...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Evil of Appeasement: How It Spreads and Harms Society

We often hear the term " appeasement " in political debates, especially when one party accuses another of favouring a particular group to secure votes. But have we ever paused to think—where does appeasement begin? Is it only a political strategy, or has it quietly seeped into every layer of our society? This is not just a political issue. It’s a psychological pattern, a social evil, and a habitual culture—and it starts from our very homes. 1. The First School: Home and Family At home, appeasement often takes a gendered form. Parents—knowingly or unknowingly—appease the boy child, while neglecting or over-disciplining the girl child. The son is often forgiven, pampered, and given excuses, while the daughter is expected to be obedient, sacrificing, and responsible. This imbalance creates two kinds of individuals: The boy learns that strength and power bring respect and privileges. The girl learns that to be accepted and to have her needs met, she must please those in power. I...
1 comment
Read more

Patriarchy Is Not About Men—It’s About Power Without Righteousness

We often talk about patriarchy as a system that oppresses women and favors men. While this traditional understanding holds a large part of the truth, it is limited. The real problem runs much deeper—and unless we understand its root, we will keep fighting symptoms instead of the disease. Let’s take a journey to redefine patriarchy—not just through the lens of gender, but through the lens of justice and righteousness —and their absence. 🔹 Phase 1: Traditional Understanding of Patriarchy Patriarchy has long been understood as a social structure in which men dominate—economically, politically, religiously, and socially. This is absolutely true. This view sees patriarchy as: A system where men inherit power, and women are reduced to submissive caregivers. A culture that leads to female infanticide, lack of education, bride burning, dowry harassment, and the suppression of women’s voices. A world where gender roles are rigid, and women are often denied autonomy. Feminist movements arose t...
Post a Comment
Read more